T'was the night before Christmas
by The-Madness-Linked-With-A-Hat
Summary: The boys were taking up Shepard's quarters for a zombie marathon at Christmas ... Little did they know what was in store for them


_Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that soon would be there._

_Ok so a few changes to be made. You are actually aboard the SSV Normandy; the crew are away on shore leave due to the holidays and lack of enemy activity. Few crew members stayed aboard, to celebrate with close friends. _

_Oh yeah one last thing ... Most of the crew are snug tight in there quarters all but two! Kaidan Alenko and Jeff 'Joker' Moreau who have been looking forward to a late night of zombie gore marathon. (The deal being the first to puke had to kiss a Turian! (Shame they never told Garrus about their deal))_

_Joker had invited everyone, but surprisingly not everyone considered zombies as a way to celebrate the seasonal holiday! And to show thanks and well wishes to their commanding officer, for allowing this epic evening to happen they held the marathon in her quarters!_

_Looking forward to a well needed sleep Shepard, dressed in her PJ's, headed to Ashley's quarters. Unaware that Ashley had plans to make the night a little more interesting and memorable. _

_Climbing onto the bed with a data pad, Shepard snuggled down to get some reading in._

_"Come on commander we need to do something fun, something we'll be laughing about for Christmas' to come" her voice projected across the room._

_Shepard rolled her eyes, "you got anything in mind chief?"_

_The grin spread across her face "oh just a little something commander; but I'm gonna need your help to pull it off" becoming giddy, Ashley jumped onto the bed next to Shepard and told her what she had in mind_

_Meanwhile back at Shepard's quarters..._

_Check list—_

_þ Sick bucket – check_

_þ Beers – check_

_þ Snacks - check_

_"Right then, Alenko! I think we're ready and totally prepared to be so grossed out so bad, that you'll puke till your insides scream"_

_Kaidan looked at him in disbelief, shaking his head _

_"That confident are you? – Hell Joker, I've seen worse on the battle field. These films won't even compare"_

_Joker looked back at the screen as the beginning of the first film begun. Muttering, something, quite inaudible. Throwing him a scowl Kaidan shuffled himself lower into the couch. Nothing beat the dramatics of old school horrors! The opening music, helped gear up the viewer, the bad acting and make up added some comedy to the story line._

_Almost two hours later the movie marathon was well underway. The different ways of killing Turian and Batartian zombies was mind blowing and quite realistic; with heads exploding, parts of the anatomy flying in all directions, and intestines sprawled all over the dusty concreted ground, not to mention the agonising screams! Kaidan tried switching off and thinking of more pleasant thoughts while Joker - Joker was looking a little green in the face. _

_As the film credits began casting, there was a loud banging at the door. Both men turned and looked shock filling their faces as their eyes widened. The banging continued with slow scrapping sounds like someone or something trying to get in._

_"What the hell is that?" Kaidan whispered his voice only just audible._

_"I don't know man but if we get out of here alive I just want you to know something..."_

_Looking at his friend with a slight smile "yeah I know it's been a pleasure working with you ..."_

_"No not that man - I'm gonna need fresh boxers!"_

_The look of disgust crossed Kaidan's face "thanks for that! I was hoping my last thoughts would have been something more special and meaningful ... Instead I now have the WORST mental image ever." _

_The banging and scraping became louder stopping the argument silent. _

_The door, suddenly, flew open. The light from the corridor, emphasised, the shape of the creature standing with in the door way. Armour hanging off his broken body with a thick liquid substance dripping from its face and round his feet. Behind him were two smaller shadows arms reaching out into the space of the room. Their faces darkened with what seemed like blood covering their faces. They were crying out; as though in some indescribable agony._

_The two men screamed, jumping over the couch to regain cover, as the figure slowly dragged its self into the room, while the smaller figures stayed near the door blocking the only exit._

_ Ducking out if sight , the boys tried thinking of tactic. _

_"Right! So Kaidan. If you jump the big guy, I can hopefully jump over the two near the door!" _

_"Yeah? And I get the big guy why?"_

_"Well ... You can use your biotics on him or something. I mean it's not like you haven't faced something that size before!"_

_Before having time to respond the large figure rose his hand slamming them on the couch "HELLO BOYS!" came a deep husky voice. Looking towards him they realised it was Garrus! Kaidan lay on the floor covering his face from the embarrassment and relief. Struggling to climb to his feet Joker looked towards the door the two figures has left and were replaced by the sound of laughing! "SHEPARD! I should have known looking at their faces he could have kicked himself if it didn't result in him breaking a leg._

_Garrus stood back laughing as Shepard and Ashley joined him. Giving each other high fives and cheering their prank of the century. Joker looked at them closer, shaking his head a bad make up job and torn up clothes was all it took to scare the life out of him. _


End file.
